FML

A few FML that made me LAWL so hard

caution : some FMLS contain explict contents , so brace yourself.
-Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels & Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
-Today, a litte girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then proceeded to put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
-Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I having sex. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
-Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. Well while in the movie theater I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said "You're so funny I'm so glad we're friends". FML * this is so potong steaming la
-Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FMLToday, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML
-Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I proceeded to tell the dentist my entire sexual and drug history in detail. FML


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Nights !

Bucketloads of <3 ,
Abelle